Thursday, May 27, 2010
My Big boy!
My older son is 16 years old, he will turn 17 in august. He was and still is an active boy and has a lot going on.
He has always been a normal student in school, not brilliant, but not bad either. He has a lot of potential, but he still needs to learn how to use it. InshaAllah he will soon.
I divorced his father when he was only 5 years old. I think it affected him quite a bit. His dad married again, and so did I. Both of us had kids with our new spouses.
When my son was 7 he moved to his father's place. He missed his dad and was hoping to spend more time with him. I saw him only on weekends and sometimes one night on weekdays.
His father works a lot and he has some hobbies too, so my son didn't get a chance to spend time with him as much as he thought. He spent a lot of time with his dad's new wife, and they didn't get along so well.. His dad has also two little kids from his new wife so my son kind of felt like an outsider.
He started to rebel, got in trouble a few times stealing.. School didn't go well and last year, which was supposed to be his final year in grade school, he started to skip lessons.. And later, whole days.. I didn't know that he has problems in school, his dad didn't tell me and i wasn't invited to any meetings before last spring, when it was almost sure that he won't pass the glass. He also got together with some bad company.. Or maybe he WAS the bad company, and had some really bad habbits. Alhamdulilah no drugs or something really bad, but serious enough to really worry me.
We had a few meetings at school and my son said he wants to move back to my place. His dad is not a muslim so I was hoping that our home environment would be good for him. Our rules are quite tight comparing the ones in his dad's place.. There it sounds like almost no rules to me :/ .
My son promised to work harder and try to pass the school year so that he could catch up what he had missed when he skipped lessons. He did work hard for a while, but I think he just gave up.. The time was too short and he ended up repeating the last school year. He didn't totally adjust to our rules and didn't quit some of his bad habits either. I was so worried and didn't know what to do.
I got him on a special class, where they're used to active boys, who are not too keen into studing. they teeach one to one, and every pupil has their own plan, so it gives much more chance to those who can't concentrate in a big group listening to a teacher preaching in front of the class. They also had some learning at work, so it wasn't only about books.
My son has some artistic skills and in the new school he got a chance to show his talent. He improved so much! I am so happy and proud of him! Alhamdulilah during this year he has grown out of his bad habits, became an independent young man and now he will finish his grade school with ok marks. He has applied to study 'Surface finishing', mainly painting and spray-painting. I don't know much about it lol :D . InshaAllah he will be accepted.
May Allah subhanahuwata'ala guide him! Ameen